Once again, HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone!

This is f***ing awesome! I love the random locations and the people who were watching this shoot with a wtf face. Cool! The last scene is freaking epic!

I know i like synchronized movements. The entire time i was watching it i as like shouting “sugoi”.

I’m so looking forward to this song. Crystal Kay is awesome, she sings, she dances and i love her abs! Rock on girl!

Enjoy!

我开心。我喜欢现在的我。我比以前还要诚实的对待自己。

我有温暖的家，无所不谈的好朋友 和一颗感恩的心。

我开心!

Watashi wa shiawase.

Almafi- It shows a different kind of work scope in a foreign country. Love the music and Yuki Amami looks fabulous.

Castle in the sky- If you like the concert of Atlantis, you’d like this too. Stunning visuals.

Raiou- Romeo and Juilet story set in old times. Love Aoi Yui’s acting and that beautiful tree.

Shinzamono- Crime story that is sympathetic and keeps you watching till the end.

Yasuko to Kenji- Funny story about sibling love. The characters kind of rubs off on me.

Chef of south pole- A real story about a cheft who works in antarctica. Humourous take on human behavious in a communal living space. The food here acts as a source of motivation. Best to watch it after a full stomach. Hats off to the chef.

June as always is a month where i spend it with mixed feelings. There is the happiness of your birthday being celebrated followed by the uncertainties in the course of direction to take. A turn here, a fork in the road, the patience to wait even if there is no end in sight. Every step you take determines your next move. Sometimes, it is hard beyond words to share it.

I wrote a whole bunch and finally decided to delete it. No one needs to know the pain you go through because all we see when we look at others is not how much pain they put up with to get to where they are. We only see the shiny surface stuff. Even if we did share, it would be like the unloading of an emotional  garbage truck, which makes it unbearable to others who carry their own baggage. We envy and get upset when we look back at ourselves. This is just your ego talking. Sadly some of us are trapped in this circle which has no begining and no ending. It becomes an endless cycle which is unhealthy to your self esteem. Well, this is just my experience. Throughtout this time, I recognised a feeling that has been hidden in my closet. I thought that I had recovered and left it behind. But it lurks around constantly, it is actually a matter of how you choose to react. Do you hide or tell yourself that brickwalls are there for a reason? Well, I chose to face the skelton in my closet. This time, I am not running away.

Actually, this year i am able to spend the month of june more happily because i went through the same feelings last year. I think next year will be the same for me. I’ll just have to enjoy the ride and be thankful that i am not being hurried away to the work society so early. This is a personal choice and it take sacrifices. Do not judge any man unless you have walked two moons in his moccasins.

Caricature by Bell. Resemblance? Love it though because bell put in lots of efforts

Cookie and cream cake from mum. Incidentally, I bought a similar cake for myself too!

Kbox on the 31th of may with Bell. Yup, 3 silces of cake for me~ It’s good to celebrate on the day before the actual bday.

Postcard from David all the way from switzerland! (Bell’s bf aka my coursemate) He sent on 26/5 and it arrive on 1/6. Talk about coincidents!

Homemade food are usually the ones that fills up your heart ne? Rinchan made this 5 flavours nabe from watching Arashi no Shukudai-Kun! Food experiments are dangerous but this turned out alot better! Love the one with the cheese~ Arigatou ne for accomodating me even when the time is so short. Gomen, I forgot to take a picture of the chocolate cake that you gave me. It’s too delicious, i ate it in no time~ We should take more pictures together ne?

I’ll be waiting for my surprise but I have to say I like the video very much! Arashi wishing me happy birthday is like a dream? I’m quite touched by it! hehe~

I miss our lazy sleepover doing nothing at my place. Let’s be lazy again soon? (^_^)/

I don’t have pictures of the hotpot that Bell prepared but imagine the love I felt that entire day. Full stomach, fuller heart!

Thank you for feeding me. I don’t mind gaining weight for it

The first of the firsts~ Diana suggested blood donation. I was intially afraid but since she said she’s accompany to donate too, we went ahead. But I ended up being the only one to donate as she was on medication! Darts. But I’m glad you “plan” this spontaneous event. I think it’s real meaningful to donate blood since I belong to the rare AB group. *Smirks* I hope I’ll be able to donate on my birthday every year~

KTV pub is something that is a total stranger to me. Not to mention hard liqour. But everything has it’s first. It’s a great experience. Nope, I’m not a hardcore drinker so I drank coke with martel and plenty of ice! Hate to puke or get drunk. Awful~

It is definetely something that I will remember. It’s your turn to donate on your birthday diana!

Heartfelt wishes that are from the bottom of the heart. It’s even better than the countless meaningless wishes you get. So this year, I felt blessed. Extremely blessed. For the first time in a long time. It feels good to finally be able to let go. Being real and simply enjoying the company of those who are sincere and truthful. At peace with myself is what i aspire to be. It’s going to be a long journey but this is an improvement. Baby steps!

I’m grateful. Arigatou!

Picture of me done by Ya Bell. Big yellow card ♥

It’s my request from Bell for this year’s present.

Went singing with Bell, it’s quite fun. But i received my first insight for my 23th year on earth.

I have a nasal voice when i sing.

I believe it has to do with my nose. Sinuses has been my friend since i can remember it.

Maybe it is the way i do not open my jaw fully.

I recorded my voice and listened to it.

I am beginning to hate my voice. Just the nasal quality is -_-”

Maybe i should just get a checkup and see if it is indeed my nose’s fault.

Tsk Tsk

Well, I guess I need to sleep it off.

good night earth.

Enneagram is something like a personality test that i did recently. It is pretty interesting. I found out what kind of personality I am.
And the result is actually quite true in certain aspect. It kinda dug up some past that I had forgotten/ tried to forgot.

I’m probably the type that when stressed up,  I will just clam up and withdraw.
It’s bad for the friends around me.
But if I don’t do that, I will probably affect the general mood of the people around me.

The is a gap between my normal self and my stressed up self.
Imagine Aiba chan not talking, you probably will get worried no?
I am touched at how people worry for me.
However I don’t want people to worry for me, I just need some alone time.
By withdrawing, I can actually think on my own and it helps me sort out my emotions.
It’s not that I don’t trust my good friends but my feelings often suffer a time lapse with my thoughts.
I cannot respond to what you said unless i have thought it through myself.

There is also the fear of the intensity of my emotions and that  I will be swarmed and drown in them.
Then again, excessive withdrawing will just mean that I will forever be observing and not living.
As are all things, balance is essential. I feel that it takes a real conscious effort to do so, when you are feeling slightly under the radar.
By understanding them, it helps me to cope one step at a time. ^_^

My com has been acting up, so i have been sneaking in to my bro’s room to use his com.
Com time is precious  and i use all of it to download / watch videos. I probably  won’t be online for a while.
It’s my way of escapism when I’m stressed. Hide myself under all the videos.
Even my bro is amazed at the amount of videos i can keep dl-ing.
If only he knows about the power of the fangirls!
I have been watching movies alot.
Chonmage Purin, Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac, The last princess, Kimi ni Todoke, Ooku and Norwegian Wood.
One would wonder how i come up with such time to watch movies. I wonder. hahaha.

Mum is going for checkup on Mon. Dad and I will be accompanying her. I hope everything goes fine.

I felt better that I talk about this out loud. So please do not worry.
I’m fine and coping even though I am not able to say anything at that time.

I should probably go find some lunch

Boy was i touched when the waitress served us. It’s like everything that i see in dramas are actually real. Foolish me. I was literally sitting there and enjoying the general atmosphere. I feel like any female heroine going for a late night snack at some nearby restaurant and end up getting dead drunk. But i can’t really drink so we toasted with tea instead.

There is a definite difference between Korean and Japanese cuisine.

Loud, friendly, warm and in your face  VS Quiet, sensitive, considerate and discrete.

I like both settings. A different experience and it depends on which is more suitable for the occasion and mood.

Will I go for Korean food again? Yes, but less meat this time round. My body gets uncomfortable if I consumed too much meat. (kinda like Nino in this aspect)

I’ll leave with 2 videos. They cheered me up terribly!

Notice how he’s adorably out of tune and still tries his best to sing at the top of his lungs?

The younger kid is shy while the older kid is attention seeking!

You bet the first songs that my kids will hear (that is if i decide to have them) is Arashi!
And I will definitely make them watch Arashi’s concert, pv and performances! Hehehe~

I feel bad for my future kids